I’ve been up for a few hours now. I can’t really get back to sleep. To pass the time I’ve been catching up with a dear friend on Facebook, made tea and coffee, and I have been playing Chuck the Sheep on Kongregate. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what an online friend and quasi mentor of mine, Lauryn, said to me when I asked her how she stays focused on her motives and ambitions as someone who works for herself. She said it’s about developing and following your systems. She said that once you get your systems down, and you just go with them, then everything should be good after that. However, if there are any flaws in your system, then it will be hard to keep things going smoothly.

I have been trying this last week or so to look at my routines, seeing where there are systems for getting things done and where there are not. It’s been a bit jarring at times. I worked one night on my system for dedicating time to my writing and transcription work. I had to stay up all night (while simultaneously making mini sweet potato pies for a competition I entered), but I got it done. I felt really great and accomplished. I’ll be honest: there are probably a lot of capitalization errors in the transcript. However, I got it done, and I spell checked it and everything.

Next go round, it will be more flawless. If I decide to go back that route, that is. I mean, to be honest, completely? That was 6 or 7 hours work for 22 dollars. Maybe I just have to get better at it, but damn. I’m not sure that that was worth that kind of dinero. Who knows.

Another thing I’ve been dealing with lately is being scared to spend money on anything. I need to spend money on things likes clothes and shoes, but then I rationalize that what I have is good enough. Then I think that my desire to wear clothes that befit my new station in an office is me being a bit over indulgent, and then I put things back, even when I’ve caught a good sale. I talked to my boyfriend about this last night, and he helped put my head on straight (one of the many reasons I adore him). If I need something to progress, I shouldn’t be worried about purchasing it. It is a need, just like food and gas for the car.

He’s really helped me to grow and develop.

I’m trying to get more connected to my online friends and resources like I was before. I miss them a lot. I’ve also connected back with some friends back home. There’s other things that have worried me, but I think having my e-support network has been really beneficial. I am desperately trying to move closer to Dallas (Irving is my target right now) so that I can get in more with other people who will share and fuel my love of games and game development, but I have several more months left on this lease. For now going to the anime club meetings has been nice. I really like the people that I met there.

Sorry. This blog is rambling, but I need to get these things out there. Hopefully there’ll be more, other things to come.

And randomly, I need to get a laptop. This thing is pro. 🙂