Decided it was about time for an update as to what I’ve been doing. This summer I’m working on some of my last few classes for my bachelor’s degree (comm tech/arts coursework), my web development skills, my Python coding skills, and both The Pirate King’s Daughter and The Lonely. The Lonely actually has a lot more prose that’s been written out for it, so I’m glad for that. I’ve already got a programmer for PKD – one of my dear friends from college. He’s interested in the project so far. I’ll need to find an artist for both projects.

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I know it’s been awhile. I’m pretty sure there’s no one that reads what’s posted here, but I need to update anyway, if only for myself. I’ve been working on The Lonely. I’ve gotten a bit of the writing done, and I’ve read some other visual novels for research.

I hadn’t updated between November, December, and January, because my mother died five days before Christmas. So I’ve been dealing with that.

I hope to have something to show in the next couple weeks.

I’ve been up for a few hours now. I can’t really get back to sleep. To pass the time I’ve been catching up with a dear friend on Facebook, made tea and coffee, and I have been playing Chuck the Sheep on Kongregate. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what an online friend and quasi mentor of mine, Lauryn, said to me when I asked her how she stays focused on her motives and ambitions as someone who works for herself. She said it’s about developing and following your systems. She said that once you get your systems down, and you just go with them, then everything should be good after that. However, if there are any flaws in your system, then it will be hard to keep things going smoothly.

I have been trying this last week or so to look at my routines, seeing where there are systems for getting things done and where there are not. It’s been a bit jarring at times. I worked one night on my system for dedicating time to my writing and transcription work. I had to stay up all night (while simultaneously making mini sweet potato pies for a competition I entered), but I got it done. I felt really great and accomplished. I’ll be honest: there are probably a lot of capitalization errors in the transcript. However, I got it done, and I spell checked it and everything.

Next go round, it will be more flawless. If I decide to go back that route, that is. I mean, to be honest, completely? That was 6 or 7 hours work for 22 dollars. Maybe I just have to get better at it, but damn. I’m not sure that that was worth that kind of dinero. Who knows.

Another thing I’ve been dealing with lately is being scared to spend money on anything. I need to spend money on things likes clothes and shoes, but then I rationalize that what I have is good enough. Then I think that my desire to wear clothes that befit my new station in an office is me being a bit over indulgent, and then I put things back, even when I’ve caught a good sale. I talked to my boyfriend about this last night, and he helped put my head on straight (one of the many reasons I adore him). If I need something to progress, I shouldn’t be worried about purchasing it. It is a need, just like food and gas for the car.

He’s really helped me to grow and develop.

I’m trying to get more connected to my online friends and resources like I was before. I miss them a lot. I’ve also connected back with some friends back home. There’s other things that have worried me, but I think having my e-support network has been really beneficial. I am desperately trying to move closer to Dallas (Irving is my target right now) so that I can get in more with other people who will share and fuel my love of games and game development, but I have several more months left on this lease. For now going to the anime club meetings has been nice. I really like the people that I met there.

Sorry. This blog is rambling, but I need to get these things out there. Hopefully there’ll be more, other things to come.

And randomly, I need to get a laptop. This thing is pro. 🙂

I spent a chunk of time yesterday doing some really quick, SEO-style freelance writing assignments. Several of them have already been accepted by clients. I’m trying to generate some ideas for myself to write about so that I can post them to my Constant-Content profile… If you know anyone that’s in need of copy writing, send them my way. I can do a diverse range of topics, and I can get things punched out fairly quickly. I am doing rates of approximately two cents a word right now.

Still working on getting set up. Got the domain name purchased and the name servers setup. Wish me luck. I’m also peering into being a contracted person for the majority of my endeavors from this point out… Like the flexibility aspect a lot more. Will result in a lot of lifestyle changes like purchasing and budgeting in bulk, but it’s what I’ve slowly been working toward. Will involve piling up savings, chipping away at them, etc. I’m very excited. Working on the skills associated with that.

Personal stuff is gnawing at me. I’ve started back up my livejournal. That’s mostly the raw, ugly, horribly emotional stuff that rips me to shreds and that I can’t get out. I posted a note to Facebook, but I doubt anyone will read it or notice it. Ah well.

That’s it for today. 🙂 Bai.

This week, I completed the plot draft for my story about two of the reptile people in my novel universe. That was a real accomplishment for me. I had the basics of the story already down and written out, but I felt as if the story was landing flat. There was just boy meets girl, conflict, and then resolution. I went in and looked up a story plotting graph – because believe you me, it’s been quite some time since the last time I looked at one of those. I know how to write a story still, and I am pretty good with words, descriptions, and things like that, but I haven’t really written anything engaging in a long, long time. Thanks to the graph, I was able to add in some more events that will build the characters along with describing their world and their dilemmas. I’m really excited about that.Continue reading

So I had an epiphany right now. I am motivated by competing against and doing better than others. I am planning on entering more contests related to my chosen creative fields to capitalize on this…

I just have to stay on that.

Does anyone have any painting, writing, or game design contests that they know of?

The freelance writing is going mostly okay. It’s been kind of a struggle to stay positive and to write no matter what. I have some sort of anxiety, I think; typically I assume that it’s performance anxiety, because when it comes to doing, I stall on things pretty frequently. For some reason, even though I know that I’m good at something, I freak when it comes time to prove that I’m good.

Things didn’t used to be that way. You couldn’t stop me from showing off. I was great at everything, and there was no stopping me from showing it.

I hope to get back to that.

So after a year of avoiding my calling to what I loved, I am returning to video game design. I think that I was mainly avoiding it because it was so much apart of my last relationship… that, and it dealt with discipline, a blog post that I’ve been working on but haven’t entirely completed. I’m very glad to be going back into game design. I was still always writing, and when I was thinking about the whole fitness modeling thing, I kept regretting that I’d never see a game published with my name on it. That should have been a huge red flag.

It was a very long, tear-filled conversation of regrets that brought me back to this decision, which I believe is the best that I’ve had in a long time. I want to help the world, but I guess I can only do it through donations and supporting those whose aims support the causes I believe in. I have a certain set of strengths, and I need to focus on those.